Tuesday, 6 January 2015

Yes, I have something - 1.5 films

Yes, I have something to send you

You know when you read something a person has written and it makes you nearly cry. This person has spoken directly to me. I just put my head back and thought of something I'd like to send him. Because he might, just might want to hear what I put in it, in spite of the fact that it is a formal competition. Am I being stupidly naive?

Or is this one of those conversations I have with strangers sitting somewhere unexpected and where I never meet them again, just that one talk is what happens? No snippets of background information or I live in x village and my husband does y and I am 'at home' and it's really like 'this'. Just forget all that and share bits of this and that.

In any case I want to read his words. I don't care about anything else. http://www.johnsiddique.co.uk/

Part of me says, never pay, but another part says, it's ok to put a bit of money into the poetry world, it's like paying fines at the library, a necessary financial support.

1.5 films this evening

0.5 of Zaytoun and 1.0 of Nixon/Frost. It's emotional being so available to films, not knowing where they will take me, or what memories they will stir in me. When I was younger I didn't see my life in films at all. Why was that? Maybe I wasn't joining the dots? Maybe I was so busy fighting and resisting what they were showing and saying, unable to be myself and therefore unable to let them be themselves?

Zaytoun led me to wonder at the gulf between the many people who have lost one or both parents and people like me who have both. I am glad to be a baby, relative to those who have experienced this new unending state of affairs.

Frost/Nixon led me to think of my family because the actor playing Nixon has my father's mouth and one of my great uncle's brown eyes. I thought of moral issues too, but don't want to go there here.

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