Tuesday, 26 April 2016

Just for once it has to be in English 24/4/2016 very late


Everything is as upside down as it could possibly be, without any family illnesses. Every day brings new shocks.

I even gave away my body today, at the moment on the DVLA site where I decided to offer them any parts of my body for others, no restrictions. That is even more shocking than moving my stack of Arabic books and papers off my desk on Friday morning, for who knows how long. Boom, gone.

I had always assumed I would remain in one piece, but the concept of parts being separated and having new lives in others, going into a new future is a matter for my actual self. It's far more close to me than being pregnant. Nothing prepared me for that. I thought I was just changing my address online for my driving licence.

My friend has someone's liver inside her, so she has some of his tastes. I wonder which of my loves will migrate with me to someone new? Talk about utter honesty and being known, she has abandoned herself to his body, in order to love, I mean live, but of course it means that too.

I have missed writing here so so much. But different things come out in Arabic, the simplest, barest, most necessary words, all wrong too, but I can't help that.


Listening to this song for the nth time. Ya El Midan. It was the Pearl Roundabout which did it for me. Simply reading about the little tents where lawyers sat together and talked. The guy at the hospital morgue gesturing at his friends who had just been shot in their sleep around him. Freedom and dignity. The consequences take a lifetime. Not reaching out for that would take a lifetime too.


And now backache, the ribs at the front ache too when I breathe in deeply, what is going on?


2 more new songs




  1. That's a bit extreme saying something is more dramatic than being pregnant, but it's equal to it in significance, though donation in the future and being pregnant is very much about the present. There's every unknown, but at the same time it is actually happening. Oh, it's impossible to describe. Particularly 16, 18 and 20 years later.

  2. *is* in the future

    I get such a kick out of seeing evidence of Arabic in the mistakes I'm making in my English. It's proof that something has got into my mind at a deep level.


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