Eating rusty nails
H asked me to do something which was beyond my red line. I replied that I'd rather learn my vocab, ie eat rusty iron nails, sorry to the vocab, but it's not my way of doing things.
Summer and winter
It wasn't that bad, I was eating a pistachio magnum thing and drinking hot mulled wine while H did important beauty activities on the other sofa.
Why has this come to mind? Over 10 years ago I was in an acting workshop dealing with irreconcilable differences, or conflict, or standing your ground... I was given a scenario to act out and the other person was given an opposing one. We had to stick to our guns as much as possible.
In such a short time I had stood there in silence and our little play had become, not a shouting match, but a moment of intimacy, with me changing my mind and my partner putting himself in my hands to sort out the situation somehow. Everyone clapped.
Maybe it was resolved, by how it turned out? Maybe it was one of those moments in the history of the universe where a tricky situation becomes a beautiful, trusting one. Alchemy.
But what about what remained unsaid? I never explained part of my scenario, that I was supposed to be going out to a party given by people who hated the other person. Did he similarly hold back part of his supposed story?
I am still in that part of my mind where I am considering not going to the party, but sitting on a bench in the street to talk about the problem he'd come on stage with. I think one part of my brain will always be just there.