Saturday, 11 January 2014

I need silence to write - and other unexpected changes

I can surf and read pretty much anything online while listening to music, but I have to have my full mind with me when I write my 'What the hell?!' poems. I hadn't expected that.

My mind is also being rearranged by listening to Umm Kultum. My other music sounds as if it comes from another time and place. Irrelevant pretty much. I hadn't expected that either. I used to love it so much and now it's just brash and in my face.

My handwriting is bothering me too. If I write clearly it looks as if I am filling in a form and takes so long. If I write fast I can barely read it and only a few of the letters are completed.

I watch as my hand whizzes back and forth, knowing subconsciously when to break and put a dot or cross. I seem to have created my own set of rules for which letters I join to which other ones. Is this a standard process for writing in English? Compulsory individuality. The only rule is there are no rules, yet your own rules have to approximate to others' rules. Just enough, but not too much.

It's similar to watching how my hands move as I drive and hold the steering wheel, again performing a sort of dance with the wheel as I turn it around corners and back again. Are there similar non-rules operating here too?

What next?

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