Tuesday, 26 January 2010
Snowdrops
Yesterday I spotted the first snowdrops in flower in my mother-in-law M's part of our garden. Ours are still closed up in their green stalks.
Saturday, 16 January 2010
Attention
When H was little I would try to finish washing up or something while he wanted me. T being older would tell me H just wanted to be with me, 'he needs you'. T was happy again when he could see that I was attending to H and laying everything else aside.
Now it is H's turn to remind me to just take time to hold the cat when she visits us from next door, he can see I'm trying to delay turning to her or am getting impatient to get up and do something else. It makes his world right to see me stopping everything to stroke her until she has had enough and jumps down again.
Giving attention when it is asked for goes against all those parenting courses which advise you to be in charge and set limits on when the children can take your time. Bah humbug, it's all wrong. If children are at home until they are 18 or 21 I guess this means lots and lots of *time* being with you. Particularly around 10 til midnight, hot water bottle and hot chocolate time.
I still automatically want perfect, patient and wise attention from my parents at the drop of a hat. I will persist until I get it!! lol
Now it is H's turn to remind me to just take time to hold the cat when she visits us from next door, he can see I'm trying to delay turning to her or am getting impatient to get up and do something else. It makes his world right to see me stopping everything to stroke her until she has had enough and jumps down again.
Giving attention when it is asked for goes against all those parenting courses which advise you to be in charge and set limits on when the children can take your time. Bah humbug, it's all wrong. If children are at home until they are 18 or 21 I guess this means lots and lots of *time* being with you. Particularly around 10 til midnight, hot water bottle and hot chocolate time.
I still automatically want perfect, patient and wise attention from my parents at the drop of a hat. I will persist until I get it!! lol
Thursday, 14 January 2010
Snow times
I have been having a think about how it has been with all this snow since last Tuesday night. It's only been 9 days, yet feels like forever.
My conclusion is that it's the waiting which is so different from usual. I had been waiting for the snow to start, waiting for it to stop, waiting for the next weather forecast etc.
I have also felt surprised that the snow is still there each time I go outdoors. When we were inside I would forget that life has not been normal, then I would go down to the road and be amazed again at the expanse of perfect packed snow from invisible kerb to invisible kerb.
We forgot which day it was and had to check!
There was a lot of TV to watch and books to read. Once the decision had been made that there was no school or whatever, then the rest of the day was for keeping warm and feeding the birds. I kept on going out for walks round the village to post one letter at a time! Stuart kept on going for runs. T kept on going out to take photos and H kept busy indoors. We each have our own ways of dealing with it.
Will winters be like this from now on?
My conclusion is that it's the waiting which is so different from usual. I had been waiting for the snow to start, waiting for it to stop, waiting for the next weather forecast etc.
I have also felt surprised that the snow is still there each time I go outdoors. When we were inside I would forget that life has not been normal, then I would go down to the road and be amazed again at the expanse of perfect packed snow from invisible kerb to invisible kerb.
We forgot which day it was and had to check!
There was a lot of TV to watch and books to read. Once the decision had been made that there was no school or whatever, then the rest of the day was for keeping warm and feeding the birds. I kept on going out for walks round the village to post one letter at a time! Stuart kept on going for runs. T kept on going out to take photos and H kept busy indoors. We each have our own ways of dealing with it.
Will winters be like this from now on?
Monday, 11 January 2010
Wednesday, 6 January 2010
Tuesday, 5 January 2010
How things change and the snow
The phone rang at lunch time. It was T on his mobile at school asking if it was ok to have tomorrow off as a fair amount of snow was predicted for Reading. I don't understand why I needed to give permission then or to him, but I did anyway. It took a while for me to hear what he wanted as he often calls from a corridor full of chatter.
My pathway down the drive is half done. I need 6 more sheet lengths to finish it. I scrabbled up some gravel to weigh down the cardboard/newspaper/plastic bags/bubble wrap and old sheet.
I used a broom to clear off the slippery slope where the drive joins the road. The latest batch of big, fluffy snow flakes has stopped so I'll nip out and do it again.
My pathway down the drive is half done. I need 6 more sheet lengths to finish it. I scrabbled up some gravel to weigh down the cardboard/newspaper/plastic bags/bubble wrap and old sheet.
I used a broom to clear off the slippery slope where the drive joins the road. The latest batch of big, fluffy snow flakes has stopped so I'll nip out and do it again.
Cat sitting
Our visiting cat from next door loves to be carried, sit on my knee and sit with her paws on my desk!
When she comes in I am often in the middle of something, so I ask the boys to babysit her until I am ready to sit down. Asking is not the same as getting though. They just chuckle and carry on. So I am sort of ambushed with the eternal dilemma, do I just turn off the cooker and the running tap and sit down for 20 minutes, or do I hurry to finish what I was planning to complete, then sit down with her?
What I often do is hold her while I do things round the kitchen. Fool that I am, I even pulled in the big rubbish bins one by one while holding her in my left arm.
When she comes in I am often in the middle of something, so I ask the boys to babysit her until I am ready to sit down. Asking is not the same as getting though. They just chuckle and carry on. So I am sort of ambushed with the eternal dilemma, do I just turn off the cooker and the running tap and sit down for 20 minutes, or do I hurry to finish what I was planning to complete, then sit down with her?
What I often do is hold her while I do things round the kitchen. Fool that I am, I even pulled in the big rubbish bins one by one while holding her in my left arm.
Sleeping
The cat is sleeping on my lap and my son H is sleeping to my right.
I read a brilliant email today about how to read out loud as a way to wake a sleeping teenager gently (and bond with them, and feel positive about them, and feel positive about mothering, and increase their vocabulary, and enjoy some good books, and feel at peace with the universe ...). So maybe later or maybe tomorrow I will make a tiny bookshelf so I can try this out.
I read a brilliant email today about how to read out loud as a way to wake a sleeping teenager gently (and bond with them, and feel positive about them, and feel positive about mothering, and increase their vocabulary, and enjoy some good books, and feel at peace with the universe ...). So maybe later or maybe tomorrow I will make a tiny bookshelf so I can try this out.
Sunday, 3 January 2010
Thinking back
I have been mulling over Christmas and have found some wonderful memories of how my grandparents did their decorations,
the big tree on the landing and the baubles from years before, the handmade paper angels and tiny crib figures, the tiny silver tree with neatly dangling icicles,
how peaceful and unhurried they seemed, how they must have gone to church at some point but it wasn't an issue, how orderly it seemed, how the food was lovely,
how smoking at the table all afternoon was the way it was, how we used to miss the Queen's Speech because my mother couldn't stick it and would take anyone willing out for a walk to escape and giggle on the pavements in Knightsbridge,
how we had spare presents for anyone we had forgotten, how there was always a James Bond film on in the evening,
how my father refused to drive to parties at distant places because of the dangers of snow, how we had to slow down at each green traffic lights because the drunk drivers were so prevalent and would just zoom straight across a red light! Happy days!
the big tree on the landing and the baubles from years before, the handmade paper angels and tiny crib figures, the tiny silver tree with neatly dangling icicles,
how peaceful and unhurried they seemed, how they must have gone to church at some point but it wasn't an issue, how orderly it seemed, how the food was lovely,
how smoking at the table all afternoon was the way it was, how we used to miss the Queen's Speech because my mother couldn't stick it and would take anyone willing out for a walk to escape and giggle on the pavements in Knightsbridge,
how we had spare presents for anyone we had forgotten, how there was always a James Bond film on in the evening,
how my father refused to drive to parties at distant places because of the dangers of snow, how we had to slow down at each green traffic lights because the drunk drivers were so prevalent and would just zoom straight across a red light! Happy days!
Saturday, 2 January 2010
What is Christmas all about?
Now I have done Christmas and New Year with a birthday in between I have nearly forgotten all my deep thoughts.
The ones which remain are something like: the ultimate encounter group; the recurring challenge to react to the standard plan and choose what actually suits us in all ways; if I don't deal with a situation it will just pop up again until I do; when the children say they like or dislike something they really mean it and just following these simple requests is quite easy, much easier than not doing so!
I enjoyed the many quiet moments when I found myself clearing out cluttered corners of the house. I had not expected to feel like doing this at all. This led on to a time of not planning for 2010 at all, just staying in the here and now time of year with lots of TV and building fires.
The part I loved the best this year was the snow all around in the run up week. I didn't see any local snowmen, but my brother J sent me a picture of his own one in his front garden. He kept on surviving the night against all the odds.
The ones which remain are something like: the ultimate encounter group; the recurring challenge to react to the standard plan and choose what actually suits us in all ways; if I don't deal with a situation it will just pop up again until I do; when the children say they like or dislike something they really mean it and just following these simple requests is quite easy, much easier than not doing so!
I enjoyed the many quiet moments when I found myself clearing out cluttered corners of the house. I had not expected to feel like doing this at all. This led on to a time of not planning for 2010 at all, just staying in the here and now time of year with lots of TV and building fires.
The part I loved the best this year was the snow all around in the run up week. I didn't see any local snowmen, but my brother J sent me a picture of his own one in his front garden. He kept on surviving the night against all the odds.
The speed of life
Now H is 12 and T is 14 everything is happening so fast. I blink and a week has passed. Plans made one day are altered the next. A quiet evening turns into a pizza and hilarious, rude film. Suddenly it is midnight yet again.
Hair dye is on the kitchen table, so I have been carefully reading the instructions. Booking film seats is far more complicated than last time I did it. My membership at Blockbusters lapsed something like 3 years ago, but I now have a shiny new card.
Hair dye is on the kitchen table, so I have been carefully reading the instructions. Booking film seats is far more complicated than last time I did it. My membership at Blockbusters lapsed something like 3 years ago, but I now have a shiny new card.
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