Friday 27 February 2015

Photos and doing maths in the kitchen



Waiting for the photos to turn up in my email inbox. My plan is to be able to change my profile pictures once a month. All I need is enough photos to choose from.



Saturday 21 February 2015

War and Love - part 2/2 - When Life Looks Like Easy Street

2nd part of my review:

WAR

Psychomachia: 'frail, accidental, articulate' is a line which reaches out of its setting, perhaps because of the sequence of the vowels, or because it reminds me of the only line of the Qur'an I know, the first line. This is what I look for, diving boards to jump off without even knowing I was on one.

Triage took me to T S Elliot's 'Old Possum's Book of Practical Cats'. It took a while, but eventually I realised that this was what I was enjoying about the refrain 'when the kids go into survival mode the knives come out at night.'

In spite of the subject matter I spent quite a while with friends on Ginsberg's ashcan rantings, taking it in turns to read out each stanza week after week in the summer, so I became fond of the endless phrases and images of violence, and simply enjoyed the words.

Is this how people used to take their Bible readings after a lifetime of beautiful phrases about the battles and evil deeds? They turn into music, like a compost heap receives rotten fruit and peelings and produces sweet black soil.

The Ballad of Jimmy Roach is the killer poem of this section, to me the worst aspect is the insult to his name. It pains me when someone's name is anglicised and twisted away from itself. Every word from another language, including names, gets changed, but how can a person be unmoored from their name and not become smaller and more hidden, unseen, unheard, unspoken? At the word 'disposable' I realise that the poem has turned rotten.

LOVE

I see many experiments with sonnets in the collection, in fact I have only just spotted the sonnetiness of An Infinite Universe.

There are three lines to each stanza, but their length means they run on, hiding the structure from my eyes.

Another love of mine is the use of repeated lines. The chorus arrives as the second line in each three line stanza. It then opens the final couplet.

Central Station Here I see simplicity and directness emerging from a louder flow of words. For example, see the shift as the poem moves from the terse compact actions and incomplete sentences of 'stack cordwood to burn' to the softer slower pace of the full sentence 'I gave you my broken soul'.

For me these two unmixable registers are the message of the collection. Neither one can include the other, they can only be extremely close to each other. Only children can contain both parents.

'from the Anglo-Saxon' thrilled me immediately. I keep on re-reading Wolf and Eadwacer because it seems impossible to work out who is speaking to whom, but not so impossible that I give up.

I keep on trying to work out how the poem comments on the rest of the collection, convinced that it is the key to it all somehow.

End


Friday 20 February 2015

Start of my endless questions series 1. 2.

1. Why is ain alif used at the start of 'a'ila, immediate family? Why not alif with hamza on top? Surely they sound the same? Is it because it is a more ancient word? Or because it is a less ancient word?

عائلة

2. Which words apart from herdha and allah have unusual markings? Again, is it because they are the most ancient words?

I will add the Arabic when I am at my laptop.


Sunday 15 February 2015

10 hour jaunt - Conflict, Time, Photography - Marlene Dumas

Jaunt

Driving over the rolling hills to the M4

Realising how lovely the row of bare trees is

Surprised by a white ballon on the roof of the Mosaic Rooms

Saw a missing person billboard, hope he's ok

Tried to focus on the houseboat roofs long enough to see them shift in the water

Unlocked the door of my parents' house and ate a snack

Off to the Tube to try my new route to the Tate Modern

Conflict, Time, Photography, confused by the inner room with the 'do not enter' sign

Shocked by the 3+ million killed in the Congo War, hadn't realised the scale

Still regarded the irregular ceramic bowl on the poster as that, not a helmet with a piece of skull fused to it, couldn't take in that information

I appreciated the stillness and calm of the Polish artist's tiny triptych concerning the Holocaust

Enjoyed the long mysterious strip of film turning from black into white, via jolts of blue and red

Remembered that I need to read Slaughter House 5, a few pages would be manageable

Surprisingly unfriendly atmosphere in the cafe, no table sharing, took my sore back to the dour balcony, made sure not to drop my coffee over the edge onto people way below

Launched into Marlene Dumas and was happy immediately

She paints with such certainty of colour and line, now I sound like an idiot!!

It was so clear when that deserted her, with Amy Winehouse, Princess Diana and the Crucifixion
Others really like those works, but I felt they weren't from her soul at all

Her colours were so sure, the brush strokes so placed and her sense of what she was experimenting with so strong

I need to know what else she is working on and want to be in her studio watching her

This video, 3 mins, inspired me to get up and go to London for her
See her passion and seriousness, how she uses her body, how she thinks, how she lives

I suggest not looking at the videos below, just go to London, then have a look at the other videos, with your own reactions and knowledge from being right there with her work

Interview in Dutch at her studio in Amsterdam, 10 mins

Russell Tovey on the show, 3 mins

Tachbrook Street

My father was a bit stubbly when I kissed him
My mother kissed me from her nap! reached up her arms, so we did that somehow

What else? sitting on my parents' bed
I brought tea up to my mother
We discussed some important things

We went downstairs and ate bread with butter and my father's plum and ginger jam
My mother showed me how she gets up from a chair without using her arms
My mother put on her coat and walked round to my car to say goodbye, without a stick

M4

A car gave us all a wary feeling, it was swerving every so often, we all dropped back behind it

I had a talk with myself about the importance of learning vocab
I decided I need to learn to read more and faster and not waste my time


Saturday 7 February 2015

3 new blogs

http://a-doctor-in-galilee.blogspot.co.uk/ because I like what and how he writes about PTSD, direct, simple and caring.

http://pascalepetit.blogspot.co.uk/ because soon I will be going to a poetry workshop she is giving in Oxford.

http://jalina-mhyana.blogspot.co.uk/ because I loved the poem she read out at the Ashmolean a couple of weeks ago.

Friday 6 February 2015

Sharing our parents - Lost mini films

Parents

I shared my mother with the local cafe recently. I actually gave her to the owner to look after her while I took my car round to the car park. I came back to find her at a table and being greeted with kisses. That's a real Didcot welcome.

When friends of mine have their relatives at village events I try to spend time with them. Someone else's parents are the next best thing to my own.

Mini films

I have lost my latest phone which has my short films on it. Including one of T and my mother in law talking. He had come home on a flying visit so she wasn't expecting him to appear in her kitchen. I stood there and filmed while they chatted.

My unplanned films are precious.

Wednesday 4 February 2015

Poetry about Breastfeeding by Hollie McNish

Video

I have seen 2 mothers feeding out and about recently. It is not possible to catch their eyes and give a big smile, but I would if I could. They can't know that ex-breastfeeding mothers are passing all the time because our experience is invisible. But it is there. They tend to be engrossed in the process, naturally, so I just walk past.

Tuesday 3 February 2015

J'essaie maintenant d'ecrire en arabe chaque soir - No Warning

Chaque soir

Ce n'est pas impossible, mais il faut choisir des mots et des evenements avec soin. Voyant un tout petit bonhomme de neige sur un table devant un cafe me donne des idees, mais ce soir j'aurais peut etre mal a trouver des mots dont j'aurais besoin.

No warning

H said mumtaz and ahlan to me without any warning on the way home. Then he wanted to say allah. So I gave him various versions. He said there was no point in knowing Arabic if he wanted to go to Germany. I said it was always extremely useful to know a bit of Arabic, whatever country you are in. I find it lets me feel more at home here in London and Oxford.

As I drove around Knightsbridge recently I spotted an Islamic Bank of Somewhere on a roundabout and I regularly go past a pharmacy (as-sidliya). It's nice to know that the words mean exactly what they are meant to, there isn't some elaborate practical joke going on over our heads. Ads on doorways really are just about renting rooms.

What is a collection? - Roger Robinson

Collections

Presence - Poems written back then, a year ago or more.
Absence - All the other poems are back in the folder. Without them, the chosen ones wouldn't have been written either.


Presence - A more recent set of decisions on how to order the chosen ones.
Absence - All the other arrangements of the poems are ignored. Also crucial to the whole process.


Presence - The writer and the editor. Writing all finished.
Absence - The reader, on the other side of the page. Marking with a biro now.
Absence - The other readers. Where are they?

A quick google and I have found George Roberts' blog. But I don't want to read it until I have done my review, that would be cheating. It's just me and the ink.

Roger Robinson

Direct, simple words on reading and writing: alskdjlaksd Where do all these amazing people keep coming from? What was I doing with my life until recently? Children, that's it. My big task.
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